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\u4ee4\u6211\u9707\u60ca\u4e8b\u7a81\u7136\u51fa\u73b0\u4e86\u3002\u5047\u671f\u7ed3\u675f\uff0c\u56de\u7a0b\u8def\u4e0a\u6211\u624d\u77e5\u9053\u6211\u7684\u53e6\u4e00\u4e2a\u53d1\u5c0f\u670b\u53cbW\u662f\u6df1\u67dc\uff01\u4e4b\u524d\u6211\u51e0\u4e4e\u6ca1\u6ce8\u610f\u5230\u2026\u2026\u8fd9\u6b21\u53d1\u73b0\u662f\u56e0\u4e3a\u6211\u8f6c\u53d1\u7fa4\u91cc\u7684\u4e00\u4e2a\u6211\u731c\u4ed6\u4f1a\u559c\u6b22\u7684\u540c\u6027\u798f\u745e(furry)\u8272\u56fe\u7ed9\u4ed6\u770b\uff0c\u5728\u4ed6\u7ed9\u6211\u89e3\u91ca\u8fd9\u4e9b\u6982\u5ff5\u7684\u65f6\u5019\uff0c\u4ed6\u8bf4\u201c\u611f\u89c9\u89e3\u91ca\u8fd9\u4e9b\u4e8b\u60c5\u6bd4\u51fa\u67dc\u8fd8\u7f9e\u803b\u201d\uff0c\u6211\u624d\u77e5\u9053\u4ed6\u662f\u6df1\u67dc\uff01\u56de\u60f3\u8fc7\u53bb\uff0c\u4ed6\u786e\u5b9e\u662f\u5728\u804a\u5929\u3001\u5174\u8da3\u7231\u597d\u548c\u5904\u4e8b\u65b9\u9762\u6709\u4e9b\u660e\u663e\u7684\u8ff9\u8c61\uff1b\u4f46\u56e0\u4e3a\u4ed6\u548c\u4e00\u4e9b\u5973\u751f\u6709\u8fc7\u7eef\u95fb\uff0c\u6240\u4ee5\u5bfc\u81f4\u6211\u66fe\u7ecf\u4ee5\u4e3a\u4ed6\u662f\u559c\u6b22\u5973\u751f\u7684\u3002\u4e07\u4e07\u6ca1\u60f3\u5230\u554a\u3002\u6211\u540e\u6765\u5411\u4ed6\u8bf7\uff08\u516b\uff09\u6559\uff08\u5366\uff09\u4e86\u8bb8\u591a\u540c\u6027\u4e4b\u95f4\u7684\u4e8b\u60c5\uff0c\u771f\u662f\u5927\u5f00\u773c\u754c\u4e86\uff0c\u563f\u563f\u3002<\/p>\n\n\n\n I didn’t plan to write anything too serious for this journal entry; I’ll just write it chronologically as a stream of consciousness. From the end of September until today, I took a trip back to my hometown, attended my younger brother’s wedding banquet, and caught up with some friends. Also, everything written here is pure venting! So if any acquaintances happen to read this, please forgive me. This place is just a venting tree hole; all my nice words are saved for when we meet offline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In late September, I was obsessed with the gun-shooting mode in Genshin Impact, and suddenly realized I might actually like third-person shooter games. During those few days, I found myself helping others with challenges almost every day. At the time, my girlfriend’s friend A came over to our place, and I proactively asked if she wanted me to help her with the shooting challenges. Little did I know, this would trigger an awkward moment between the two of them. Back in June, some drama had happened between my girlfriend and this friend A, to the point where my girlfriend vowed never to help her with the Spiral Abyss ever again. I didn’t know about this history when I offered to help friend A with the shooting challenge. I guess I’ll just note it down here anyway. My girlfriend had previously spent a huge amount of uncompensated time and effort helping friend A\u2014who plays games very casually\u2014with the Abyss challenges, winning tons of Primogem rewards for her. But during the help session in early June, my girlfriend accidentally did a single pull that happened to yield a 5-star character\u2014just not the character friend A wanted. Friend A threw a massive fit over this and scolded my girlfriend for a long time. In short, my girlfriend stopped helping her with challenges altogether. It’s really hard to comment on friend A; maybe she lacks something that most people naturally possess in their personality?<\/p>\n\n\n\n This incident also made me reflect… I don’t think I’ve ever had such friction with my close friends nowadays. Is it because my friends are all so emotionally stable? Looking back, I suppose I used to be the most emotionally unstable one, having pulled plenty of foolish stunts. Over recent years, I’ve gradually become more stable. Some people say that a man’s prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully mature until age 28, allowing him enough rationality to control his emotions. There might actually be some truth to that. Besides, I feel that staying away from official sensationalized narratives over the last couple of years has also played a role… Because when I used to believe in that stuff, I genuinely felt like a “Little Red Guard”: easily angered and impulsive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In late September, it was the Mid-Autumn Festival. My girlfriend and I went to a buffet teppanyaki grill\u2014a rather upscale restaurant. The salmon sashimi tasted genuinely amazing, though I didn’t dare eat too much of it. Having been on a diet to lose weight for over two months now, my appetite hasn’t fully opened up yet; I ate slowly and surprisingly got full very quickly. The final course was flaming ice cream: the chef placed a scoop of ice cream on top of a slice of pineapple right in the middle of the hot iron griddle, poured cooking oil around the ice cream, and once the oil was hot, poured a liquor-like liquid into the sizzling oil on the griddle. The mixture rapidly vaporized into an oily mist, at which point the chef sparked a lighter at the edge, creating a spectacular ring of flames completely enclosing the ice cream. The flame was about a meter high and a meter wide, and its radiant heat baked my face, reminding me of lighting outdoor campfires many years ago. The grilled ice cream was a bit melted, and to be honest, it didn’t taste that great. It had a slight oily smoke flavor\u2014the exact taste food gets when cooking oil catches fire in a home wok.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After the Mid-Autumn Festival, I chatted with an old classmate Z whom I hadn’t contacted in a long time, and that was when I learned how exhausting her life had been. After graduation, Z went to work at an XX Industrial XX Research Institute. That company didn’t give her a single day off for Mid-Autumn and made her work three days of overtime during the National Day holiday; working overtime is an everyday routine there, and overall their salaries have even been cut\u2014it’s simply unbelievable. She also dropped some gossip: a certain component of a certain national-level heavy-duty apparatus has some quality defects. Lol, it’s pretty hard to comment on that too. Anyway, the moral of the story is never to blindly believe what official state media propagates.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On September 30, I successfully reduced my weight into the 77-78 kg range. Yay!<\/p>\n\n\n\n I took a day and a night in a hard sleeper train back to my hometown. It was exhausting. Even though I had a lower hard sleeper berth (second-class sleeper), the space is still cramped, and the railway doesn’t use continuous welded rails, so it was quite noisy. I probably only managed to sleep for a few hours, making it much more miserable than the lower soft sleeper berth on a conventional train I took last time. During that soft sleeper trip, I happened to catch COVID-19 for the second time from my girlfriend, giving me a mild fever and a sore throat. Yet, I managed to fall into a deep sleep in the quiet train, woke up after a huge nap, and miraculously recovered completely. Drawing from that past experience, I was full of confidence and told my friend before boarding the hard sleeper this time that it would be a breeze\u2014only to have reality slap me in the face… I’ll definitely be choosing to fly for the return trip.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I arrived home around 6:00 PM on October 1 and had dumplings. Dumplings wrapped by my mom are always the best. Nothing much happened that day, and soon it was October 2. My younger brother’s (not a biological brother) wedding was scheduled for October 3, so on the afternoon of the 2nd, we went over to his place to attend… well, I’m not even sure what it’s called, maybe a “dumpling wrapping” banquet? It’s a traditional banquet held on the floor right outside the apartment buildings of both the bride and groom on the eve of the wedding (open-air mobile banquets, I suppose? Most of the people eating there are strangers; I have no idea if you need an invitation to eat, and I didn’t bother asking). Separate banquets are held at both the groom’s and bride’s homes, mainly to treat close relatives and friends. Friends who aren’t from Tier-1 cities or mainland China might imagine refined seating arrangements like the one shown in the photo:<\/p>\n\n\n\n I can only say that traditions in northern mainland China will continuously shatter your imagination. The actual seating: a bunch of middle-aged and elderly uncles and aunts wearing casual clothes sitting on makeshift plastic stools, under a red open-air food stall canopy, illuminated by construction site lightbulbs. People are smoking at every table, the whole venue is noisy and bustling, and the chefs set up a temporary open-air kitchen in the corner. Managing to whip up dozens of dishes under such primitive conditions is quite impressive. Even so, the organization of this banquet was actually outsourced to a specialized company responsible for setting up the venue, hiring chefs, cooking, and serving dishes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After the meal, I heard that this banquet of around 12 tables cost 7,500 RMB, which genuinely shocked me. That averages out to 625 RMB per table for my brother’s family. Given that the raw food ingredients alone must cost at least 200+ RMB, the organizers are making roughly 400 RMB profit per table, coming out to about 4,800 RMB profit across 12 tables. Factor in some shared fixed costs, and the chefs, drivers, and service staff (10+ people) probably averaged about 300 RMB in earnings per person. And this is during peak wedding season when prices are high… It really made me marvel at how low labor costs are in mainland China. Of course, given this level of spending, it’s obviously not going to be as refined as Western wedding banquets.<\/p>\n\n\n\n By the way, I also heard an interesting theory: why these T-minus-1-day mobile street banquets are so popular now is because the government banned firecrackers in recent years, so people invented a new “tradition” to compensate for the missing “bustling atmosphere” caused by the ban.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On October 3, I woke up at 5:30 AM and headed over to my brother’s place to watch the wedding festivities unfold. Although it seemed like I was assigned some tasks the day before, my brother’s groomsmen were super reliable, so I ended up barely having to help with anything. My brother mentioned they woke up around 4:00 AM to start doing makeup, and the bride’s side started even earlier. Just thinking about it sounds painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The overall workflow for the day went like this: Once my brother was ready, a “departure” ceremony was held at his place, after which they took the wedding convoy to the bride’s home. At the bride’s house, my brother had to break through the bridal chamber door by playing mini-games with the bride and her bridesmaids, and only after passing the trials could he carry the bride out of her room. Next, together with the bride, they offered toasts and performed kowtows to the bride’s parents, grandparents, and maternal grandparents, and these elders handed out red envelopes (cash gifts) to the newlyweds in return. Finally, the bride and groom stepped out of the house, took photos with friends and relatives, and walked down a red carpet and balloon archway outside her building. At this point, the bride could accompany the groom back to the groom’s home, completing the “leaving maidenhood” ritual. Once the bride arrived at the groom’s home via the wedding car, the main tasks were similar: serving drinks and kowtowing to the groom’s parents and elders to collect more red envelopes, followed by group photos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The whole process is quite traditional, but what I personally found hardest to accept wasn’t any specific individual ritual, but rather the constant, chaotic noise throughout the entire event. The rooms were crammed with onlookers, and the air was thick with cigarette smoke. It felt as though the newlyweds were mere actors putting on a performance for others to watch, rather than actually celebrating their own marriage. But that’s just my perspective; maybe my brother and his wife feel that noise equals liveliness, and indeed, some young folks hold similar views. Fortunately, the rituals didn’t include even more archaic practices like “packing the bride’s old personal belongings into her dowry” or “the bride’s family crying for ages while holding her hands”\u2014phenomena I wouldn’t even know how to critique. Additionally, starting around 7:00 AM downstairs, there was a gongs-and-drums troupe combined with folk opera singing that went on non-stop until my brother left for the bride’s house. Apart from the sheer noise, this was another thing I found extremely difficult to endure. That red-and-green color scheme, with middle-aged aunties wearing Northeast padded floral jackets playing gongs and self-amusing folk songs\u2014is this really a decline in aesthetics, or outright ugliness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n After finishing the morning’s traditional rituals, we headed to the formal wedding venue and noon banquet. The venue itself was quite pretty, but so many people were smoking that the cigarette smoke actually created a visible Tyndall effect under the lights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It’s not very clear in the photo, but once the ceremony started, the main lights went off and spotlights turned on, making those Tyndall light beams extremely obvious. To be honest, nothing about the ceremony itself left a deep impression on me; the various segments just slid across my cerebral cortex like a conveyor belt. Here are a few random things I remember:<\/p>\n\n\n\n It made me wonder: if my girlfriend and I were up on that stage, we probably wouldn’t even be able to force a smile. Walking up to a stage like that would mean we’d already been pushed around and manipulated by others for far too long. Neither my girlfriend nor I could stand such a complicated, tedious ceremony. We don’t even want to get married. I so wish life could be simpler, and that I could escape this traditional society, haha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After the noon banquet, we took some group photos, and there was also an instant film (Polaroid) camera to play with, though unfortunately, I left the photos I took at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the afternoon, my brother mentioned he had arranged for our peer group to go hang out at a home party venue (Home Party?), and asked my older female cousin and me to join. Hearing that there would be board games and pool, I readily agreed. Since my cousin and I didn’t have much else going on, we headed to the booked party venue first. To our surprise, not only was the location remote, but the room hadn’t even been cleaned from the previous guests’ trash, and the dining tables hadn’t been wiped down either… We couldn’t find a single staff member anywhere. The whole place gave off an aura of extreme casualness and neglect that disgusted us so much we immediately flagged down a taxi that had just dropped off some groomsmen there and headed back home. I felt like my younger brother got scammed; after all, he and his wife both work in a city thousands of kilometers away, so how could they possibly know what kind of dump this party venue really was? But just as we were turning to leave, some of the groomsmen were already entering the rooms, and they seemed willing to tolerate playing there… So my cousin and I didn’t say anything further. Before my brother arrived, we made up an excuse and texted him: “We’re heading back to sleep!” and jumped into a taxi. The taxi driver was quite amused, wondering how he could possibly pick up departing passengers from the exact same remote alley where he had just dropped off wedding guests. I explained to him how terrible that party venue was, and he agreed with our decision to bail. Then he remarked, “Especially when you’re with a young girl, you really shouldn’t go hanging out in such shady places,” and proceeded to share a story of his own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n His former boss once invited him to a business karaoke (KTV) session, telling him, “You can bring a close friend along.” This KTV had also invited the client company’s boss. Without thinking much of it, he went home and asked his wife if she wanted to come, and she agreed without overthinking either. So, he and his wife showed up together at the KTV private room, and an awkward scene unfolded: his boss, the client boss, and a few colleagues were each holding or having a hostess sitting on their laps. He and his wife were frozen in shock: these people were doing shady business right in front of them, hugging, touching, and groping! When the boss saw him, he froze too\u2014who on earth brings their wife to this kind of occasion?! The shady actions stopped instantly. After staying for a short while, his wife said, “I’m leaving first.” He awkwardly told his boss, “I’m heading out too.” He told me, “If I hadn’t left with my wife right then, what would she have thought of me!” The next day, his boss furiously chewed him out, yelling, “Are you out of your mind? Why on earth did you bring your wife?!” Hearing that made me burst out laughing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It feels like taxi drivers in every city are well-acquainted with these shady spots and local gossip. Back when I was on a business trip in Huangshi, Hubei, the taxi driver told me that the luxury hotel I was staying at had many gorgeous young women taking cabs there every single night. Since some partners required us to stay at that hotel, I did indeed notice women traveling alone in the elevators who were dressed up exquisitely and looked extremely attractive. At the same time, I learned that this hotel was the signature establishment frequently used for banquets by Huangshi enterprises and government officials. Furthermore, despite the strict censorship across mainland China where all levels of government ordered that Western holidays not be celebrated, this hotel somehow managed to obtain a special exception to host a Halloween event for foreign guests\u2014you can imagine what sorts of things go on behind the scenes. Fortunately, our company and our partners were mostly upright people; nobody engaged in that kind of unclean business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I don’t mean to imply that my brother and his friends went to the party venue to do anything shady\u2014I trust them. I just felt that today’s experiences were well worth recording. After returning home in the afternoon, I slept for a huge chunk of the day. When I woke up, I saw a message from my brother saying we could hang out once he woke up, but I didn’t go. Sorry, little bro!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Didn’t do much in the morning; mostly hung out with my childhood best friend Z in the afternoon. We played two hours of pool first, then went for a stroll, chatted, and had dinner. That’s when I found out he’s currently working at an advertising company, where his daily job consists of going to various residential communities to swap out the advertisement posters inside elevator cars. Because business is bad, they don’t even have to punch in for work on time anymore; they just submit a field-work punch-in on their phones and finish distributing the ads, and they’re done for the day. He thinks this job is pretty great. He told me, “My last job was with an outsourced construction team at a coal mine, where I could make over 10,000 RMB a month. On my very first day, I was already looking forward to how I’d spend that 10k; but after working two or three days, I was thinking, ‘How on earth can human beings do such backbreaking labor?'” According to him, the coal extraction faces at the mine are staffed by regular full-time employees, whose work is relatively light and not very dangerous; whereas their outsourced temporary crew did all the tunneling-face work\u2014responsible for blasting and digging out tunnels. Even with machinery helping, it was brutally exhausting. When he first started, he was just doing odd jobs as an assistant, but it completely wiped him out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Though we chatted a lot, most of it revolved around stories we already knew. During dinner, he called his girlfriend over. She works as an administrative teacher at a vocational college (junior college) right here in our hometown, which seems like a pretty decent job nowadays. I think I asked how they met, but I can’t remember now, darn it. I really am curious how they crossed paths, because since my childhood friend never went to college, he certainly couldn’t have met this young lady on a campus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There are two other friends in our little circle, but neither was around today: one ran off to Russia as an exchange student, and the other went down to Fujian to work odd jobs. Running off to a country currently at war is pretty hardcore, but it seemed to be a government-funded study abroad program, and he had studied Russian since elementary school, so maybe he didn’t have much of a choice? As for the guy working in Fujian, he had a massive falling out with his dad. From what I know, his dad is also extremely lecture-prone. Good for him for running away\u2014my dad loves lecturing too, and acts like being a father grants him total ownership over you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I got back home a bit late tonight, which conveniently helped me dodge my dad’s lecturing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Today I arranged to hang out with another friend, S. He was my classmate in elementary school, middle school, and high school, and he is an absolute super-hunk, probably school-hunk tier. First of all, like me, he’s 180cm+ tall, but his facial features have a somewhat feminine softness to them (both my girlfriend and my mom commented on this when they saw his photos). Viewed in profile, his facial lines are strikingly similar to my favorite French actress, L\u00e9a Seydoux:<\/p>\n\n\n\n The aesthetic preferences popular among our generation of women no longer worship those chiseled, hard-boiled macho jawlines; friend S’s soft facial curves genuinely appeal to a vast number of girls (and this guy likes them too!). Coupled with his non-aggressive personality, he’s truly…<\/p>\n\n\n\n Friend S, friend L, and I used to hang out constantly back in elementary school, but when we graduated, none of us kept any contact info for friend L… In that era before smartphones, friend S only memorized friend L’s landline number, but by now they’ve probably moved. Such a pity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He took me to try some specialty coffee at a coffee festival, which genuinely opened my eyes. Though cold brew is rather bitter, pouring it into a liquid nitrogen cup filled with guava milk pudding created a silky, sweet, and refreshing texture. Afterward, we strolled around Wanda Plaza and checked out the toy shops… The action figures and dolls sold in toy stores nowadays look pretty, but most of them belong to IPs I don’t even recognize, with only Demon Slayer and Detective Conan making appearances… A bit of a letdown. Next, he suggested taking me to the wetland park for a visit, and I readily agreed. Having been away for many years, I had never strolled through it before. We took a taxi to his house first, and then he gave me a ride to the park on his electric scooter. We arrived around dusk; the sunset and evening glow in the distance were breathtaking, but unfortunately, I was too busy talking to him and stealing glances at his face to remember to take photos. Perhaps… in my heart, I felt sunsets happen every single year, but a youthful, handsome face is something you must gaze at as much as possible while you’re young; once you grow old and can’t see it anymore, it’d be such a waste, haha.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Along the way, we touched upon his romantic history, though I don’t care to write much about it here since he himself is probably somewhat annoyed by various pursuers. However, he had broken up with his current\/recent partner not too long ago. Although he didn’t go into details about why they split, he probably just felt emotionally exhausted. A month before we met, I checked his WeChat Moments and saw he had cleared out most of his shared posts and restricted access to the last three days only. Looks like that’s right when they broke up. He’s currently working at a mining equipment maintenance company, a job his mom pulled strings to get him. The location is quite remote, making it feel like he’s been directly exiled to a place with zero chance of meeting women. On top of that, the job involves some heavy physical labor, which somehow puffed his weight up to even heavier than mine (>78kg\u2014though I’m not sure if his stated weight is true), but he wore super baggy clothes so you couldn’t really tell his build.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After walking the park, we headed back to the City God Temple (Chenghuangmiao) area to stroll and chat. He also has a place near Chenghuangmiao where we used to hang out all the time when we were kids. We reminisced about a lot of past events, and I also filled him in on my current life. We both touched upon how neither of us wants to get married; he doesn’t even want to start dating another girlfriend… despite his maternal grandfather pressuring him to tie the knot, haha. Our generation either rushes blindly into marriage and kids before 25 like my brother, or drags our feet to avoid doing any of it. Dragging our feet and living our own lives well is the best way to treat ourselves. Having been controlled by older NPD [Narcissistic Personality Disorder] geez-bags for so long without even figuring out our own lives yet, why on earth rush into marriage so early?<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the evening, we each ordered a snack near the City God Temple and shared them with each other. Afterwards, we kept walking until we reached the gates of our elementary school and my family’s front door… talking about countless memories of the past. He also shared something I didn’t know: after elementary school dismissal, he used to stand under my window calling me out to play. But back then, my dad probably demanded I finish my homework before going out, so he kept calling out; and when I didn’t answer, he started shouting my childhood nickname… until my dad stormed out and yelled viciously at him: “What the hell are you yelling for!” Lol, if he hadn’t brought it up, I never would have remembered that nickname. Finally, we parted ways at the entrance of my residential compound. He asked me when I’d be back next year, and while I wanted to give a precise date, I still have things hiding from my family, and I don’t want to see my dad either… so I couldn’t give a definite answer on when it’ll be good to come home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Looking back, I think he is the only person who could have ever changed my sexual orientation. Hanging out with him occasionally in high school, even holding his hand didn’t feel uncomfortable at all… If it had been holding another guy’s hand, I probably would have felt nauseous ages ago. Too bad there are no “what ifs.” That hazy high school romance was like a warm current amid swirling snowflakes, quickly drifting away under the intense academic pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On the 6th, I just went over to my eldest aunt’s place for dinner, nothing particularly noteworthy. However, what happened the night before is definitely worth recording (and I refuse to lump it into the same paragraph as my reunion with friend S). On the night of the 5th, because friend S and I had eaten spicy snacks, my tonsils felt like there was a foreign object stuck in them, as if something was poking me. My dad accompanied me to the ENT emergency department at the hospital to get it checked out. The doctor said nothing was stuck, but there was a scratch, probably caused by a fish bone when I ate fish at home at midday, which got irritated by the spicy food. Thankfully, nothing was lodged in there. On the way back, true to form, my dad started his lecture. His speech essentially boiled down to looking down on my girlfriend’s educational background, urging me to be prudent about marriage, and advising me to find someone “comparable” so we can work hard together in the future. He also claimed he knew of a suitable match for arranged dating in the city where I work (Sanya), but since he knew I already had a current girlfriend, he didn’t dare pitch her to me. I was utterly speechless. The moment I offered the slightest critique of his remarks, he brushed it off with excuses like, “We elders only have your best interests at heart; we talk like this so your career and life turn out well in the future.” Talking to him is completely devoid of logic because he resorts to sophistry and moral blackmail, and somehow I ended up starting to mock him, saying, “Your generation managed to catch all the economic boom times, so how come I don’t see your career or life turning out all that great?” The conversation ultimately fizzled out into nothing. Exactly\u2014his brain is completely stuffed with grand narratives and selfish calculations; he has no clue how to actually live life, and he doesn’t get along with my mom at home either. As for his career, heaven knows what he did, but whatever the case, he didn’t manage to reap many of the systemic dividends his generation was supposed to enjoy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As I lay in bed that night, I thought to myself: if at tomorrow’s family dinner at my eldest aunt’s place, he or my aunt brought up my future marriage plans, I would roast him just like Rudy Greyrat from Mushoku Tensei<\/em>. I’d say something like this: “My current partner and I have been together for eight years now, and our close friends all know how deeply we care for each other. I originally planned to get married, but yesterday my dad gave me a profound lecture, and I completely understand now. From now on, I must prioritize my future prospects above all else. I plan to break up with my current girlfriend and go on blind dates to find an educated woman from a well-matched, politically secure family background who holds an official civil-service system job; if friends ask me why we broke up in the future, I’ll tell them our family motto is just like this: trimming sails with the wind, weeding out sentiment, and putting self-interest above all\u2014all three generations of our family operate this way. Surely, holding such values will guarantee I can successfully make trustworthy friends and find a partner loyal to me for life, right?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, at the family gathering on the 6th, nobody brought up anything about my love life or my girlfriend, which probably had something to do with my eldest cousin (my eldest aunt’s daughter) who hasn’t returned for these family dinners and remains unmarried to this day… They felt too embarrassed to bring up matters of romance and marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Suddenly, a shocking revelation dropped. As the holiday ended and I was traveling back, I found out that another of my childhood best friends, W, is deeply in the closet! I had barely noticed before… I only found out this time because I forwarded an image of a male furry in our group chat\u2014a piece of suggestive art I guessed he’d like. When he was explaining these concepts to me, he remarked, “Explaining this stuff feels even more embarrassing than coming out of the closet,” and that’s how I found out he’s in the closet! Looking back, he certainly had some obvious signs in his chats, hobbies, and general demeanor; but because he had been romantically linked with various girls in gossip before, I used to assume he liked women. Never would I have guessed. Later, I asked (gossiped with) him for advice on all sorts of things regarding same-sex dynamics, and it was a total eye-opener, lol.<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u8fd9\u6b21\u5199\u65e5\u8bb0\u6ca1\u6253\u7b97\u5199\u5f88\u4e25\u8083\u7684\u4e1c\u897f\uff0c\u5c31\u4ee5\u6d41\u6c34\u8d26\u7684\u5f62\u5f0f\u8bf4\u8bf4\u597d\u4e86\u3002\u4ece9\u6708\u6708\u5e95\u5230\u4eca\u5929\uff0c\u56de\u4e86\u4e00\u8d9f\u8001\u5bb6\uff0c\u51fa\u5e2d\u4e86\u8001\u5f1f\u7684\u5a5a\u5bb4\uff0c\u89c1\u4e86\u4e00\u4e9b\u670b\u53cb\u3002\u53e6\u5916\uff0c\u65e5\u8bb0\u91cc\u5199\u7684\u90fd\u662f\u5410\u69fd\uff01\u6240\u4ee5\u5982\u679c\u719f\u4eba\u770b\u5230\u4e86\u8bf7\u539f\u8c05\u6211\uff0c\u8fd9\u91cc\u5c31\u662f\u5410\u69fd\u7684\u6811\u6d1e\uff0c\u6211\u7684\u597d\u8bdd\u90fd\u7559\u5728\u7ebf\u4e0b\u89c1\u9762\u8bf4\u4e86\u3002 1. 9\u6708\u672b 9\u6708\u672b\u6c89\u8ff7\u4e8e\u539f\u795e\u6253\u67aa\u6a21\u5f0f\uff0c\u7a81\u7136\u53d1\u73b0\u81ea\u5df1\u4f3c\u4e4e\u6709\u70b9\u559c\u6b22\u7b2c\u4e09\u4eba\u79f0\u67aa\u6218\u6e38\u620f\uff0c\u90a3\u51e0\u5929\u51e0\u4e4e\u6bcf\u5929\u90fd\u8981\u5e2e\u4eba\u6253\u6311\u6218\u3002\u5f53\u65f6\u5973\u670b\u53cb\u7684\u670b\u53cbA\u6765\u6211\u4eec\u5bb6\u73a9\uff0c\u6211\u8fd8\u4e3b\u52a8\u5730\u95ee\u8981\u4e0d\u8981\u8ba9\u6211\u5e2e\u5979\u6253\u67aa\u6218 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":142,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-110","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category--musings-journals"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=110"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":143,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/110\/revisions\/143"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/142"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=110"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=110"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blog.lcsh.top\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=110"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"http:\/\/100.64.0.14:8088\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/image-1024x506.png\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n1. \u5a5a\u793c\u5f53\u5929\u4e0a\u5348<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/100.64.0.14:8088\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/123-1024x574.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n2. \u5a5a\u793c\u548c\u5348\u5bb4<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/100.64.0.14:8088\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/image-3-1024x628.png\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n3. \u5a5a\u793c\u5f53\u5929\u4e0b\u5348<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
4. 4\u65e5<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
5. 5\u65e5<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/100.64.0.14:8088\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/image-4.png\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n6. 6\u65e5<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
7. 7\u65e5\u540e <\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Journal: 20261013 – Reflections on the Mid-Autumn and National Day Holidays<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
1. Late September<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
2. Early October<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n3. Morning of the Wedding Day<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n4. The Wedding and Noon Banquet<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n
5. Afternoon of the Wedding Day<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
6. October 4<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
7. October 5<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n8. October 6<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
9. October 7 and Beyond<\/h2>\n\n\n\n